– Teacher, Luke pulls my hair!
– But Lisa, he is just in love with you. Boys have a bit of trouble with showing feelings.
Well I wonder if anyone can see it, that the behavior we learn is taught at a very young age. I have heard it myself and have also heard about similar events from others. This is one of the reasons why it is so hard for us to break the norms of society. Boys hear things like this from childhood, as early as kindergarden. They hear things like “Oh, don’t cry, boys don’t cry.” and “You only pull lisas hair because you like her, right?”. Girls also get a taste of society’s screwed up standards when they hear things like “He just pulls your hair because he loves you” and get treated like vulnerable and brittle humans.
This is why we are living in a rape culture. We learn behaviors that doesn’t help us to understand that rape and violence is wrong. No we don’t learn this verbally or in written text. But the way we treat different genders just fuels the fire. We live in a society where rape is normalized by us. If a woman gets sexually molested in a bar her friends tell her that it was a compliment. And if a girl’s boyfriend have sex with her against her will we still need so much more to call it rape. Therefore we live in a rape culture.
Rape is made fun of and normalized almost everywhere.